Matt Judon Authentic Jersey  Blog | Sydney Festival of Really Good Sex | Next Festival 26-28 January 2018
Making Babies

with Lia Smith and Damian Bohler This workshop explores the connection between sex and making babies. We understand “making babies” in both the literal sense and also in a broader, more creative one. We will dive into an experiential practice which will engage you imaginatively with your own original conception. People of all genders, sexualities and backgrounds  are welcome to explore this topic for themselves in the safe space provided. The workshop includes solo, partner and group work, discussion and guided meditation. ” Creating a somatic, sensual and intuitive connection can free up our inner child. We are honoured to offer a safe space for others, to be guided and open up into an embodied reality where wisdom and resources living within our bodies can function and flow gracefully.” Lia Smith is a contemporary artist and wellness practitioner. In art, her practice is body centric and often site specific performance art. In health, woman’s embodiment, rebirthing breathwork, birth doula, qi gong, meditation. Shamanic sound therapy, holistic bodywork, relational mediation and art coaching. A 16 years personal mind, body and spirit practice has lead her to study an array of health modalities. From gifted, recognised and soulful teachers in Australia and abroad. Lia’s creative passion for adventure, exploration and deep wisdom guide her on a path with heart. Her direction allows new levels of creativity, health and vitality by overcoming chronic illness, physical and emotional pain. A deepening of embodiment, women’s mysteries, increased capacity to expand, shift and alter awareness state. Reseting and […]

Theatre of Erotic Energy with Inbal Yalon

Have you ever had a desire to access and cultivate your erotic persona? The possibilities are endless: the mummy, the nurse, the daddy, the little girl, the virgin, the beast, the whore, the temptress, the rapist, the dirty old man, the secretary, the school teacher, the lord of manor, the mafia boss, the pony, the dog, the cat, etc. Come and join acclaimed acting teacher and dramaturge from Belgium, Inbal Yalon, for a journey of discovery into your poetic erotic persona. Inbal will share energetic acting techniques based on imagination, suggestions and hypnosis, in order to free your erotic voice and access the imaginary body. She invites everyone to connect with orgasmic sensations and to let the body and voice freely follow its impulses, in order to materialise one’s poetic inner erotic world. The workshop will enable you to develop and explore an erotic persona, which you can then use with your partners and in public play. Friday 29th January, 7pm-10pm @ Prashana Yoga, 1/197 Oxford St, Darlinghurst NSW 2010 Investment: $60 (Early Bird to 22 January), $80 (Low Income option available on request)   Following drama courses at INSAS in Brussels, at the Conservatory in Liège and Leipzig, and at the GITIS in Moscow, Inbal Yalon has been an actress and a stage director for more than 15 years. She is also a teacher and a coach for actors. She has worked with numerous stage directors in Belgium as well as other countries. Having a Master in Linguistics and Foreign Litterature, she […]

Dancing The Sweet Medicine

In this 6 hour workshop, you will learn basic movement truths gathered from shamanic lineages, cultures and the contemporary movement practices that support embodiment. The shamanic embraces the body as the source of felt knowledge. By mapping the body’s systems, one can access an awareness of our elemental alignment and interconnectedness with the 4 Worlds and powers of the Universe. One’s sexuality is a lifetime of unraveling beliefs that inhibit our naturalness and mask our individuality. Movement and transformational dance offers a playful and conscious exploration of the erotic inherent in all life and the basic need for healthy contact, touch and intimacy. The workshop will take place over two evenings. Each session is three hours: Wednesday 27 January, 6-9pm (What is sweet medicine and the animal allies?) Thursday 28 January, 6-9pm (The transformational space of Shamanic body and spirit, the As Above So Below) Location: Schwelle Sydney, North Bondi Investment: $109 (Early Bird until January 15), $120 One evening available: $59 (Low income option on request) Contact Annetta, if you have any questions. Some of the benefits of the workshop include: Letting go to regain your own unique naturalness in dancing. Learning principles from Erotic Anatomy, Contact Improvisation and Feasting the Body and Aikido principles. Mapping the body’s systems, one feels and accesses our elemental alignment and interconnectedness, with the 4 Worlds and powers of the Universe. Shedding our socialized bodies! One’s sensual sexuality is a lifetime of unraveling beliefs that inhibit our naturalness and mask our individuality. Movement and transformational dance […]

Erotica: Writing as a Turn On

With Emma Michelle Dixon, Ph.D What is the value of erotica? How do you relate to it as a reader, and how do you relate to it as a writer? Are there differences between the two? Are there places you wish to go creatively, but haven’t yet gone? Words that you would love to use, scenes to play out on page, rather than in life? In this workshop, we will begin with a conversation about what erotica is and what it can be for readers and writers alike. I will encourage participants to explore the unexplored, the taboo, the places which entice and even challenge. Then, through this dialogue, each person will identify a personal challenge to explore via writing erotica. Writing and sharing will follow, in smaller groups and with the group as a whole.

A Christmas Message from Jesus

  Jesus is thinking about His second coming at the Sydney Festival of Really Good Sex. You wouldn’t want to miss it! Festival ticket prices will rise at midnight December 31. Full Price is $449. Early Bird All Inclusive Tickets Are Now Available at $349. A limited number of one day tickets are now on sale for $149. You won’t regret it! When you buy your ticket now at a lower price, you will have nothing to fear if it turns out later that for some reason you can’t come. We will help you to resell your ticket by publicising it at a later date when the ticket prices are higher. No-one has ever been caught out in the 4 year history of the festival. We expect the upcoming festival will sell out, as did 2015 edition.     Make a reservation Reservation system powered by Planyo Seasons Greetings, Peter, Natalia and Rebecca

Stripping For Your Lover

… Peek into the interior pleasure vault of your sexual persona. A movement-based workshop with the intention of erotic play, where nudity is not necessary. Erotica performed with a spontaneous creative edge. No sequins, no garters, no legs behind ears…just a knowing, owning, sharing and revealing of one’s own pleasure, beauty and mystery. Begin with your own self- seduction. Sexual self-confidence is learned through movement and a renewed trust in the body. Sensuality offers effortless movement. No routines. Imagination unfolds your personalized repertoire. Costuming is an Art and essential to uncover how your sexual persona wants to dress. Bring you’re own favorite clothes/costumes/fabric to play with and there will be a costume box for additional ideas. Giving permission to be seen is the key to Stripping for your Lover. In this workshop, you will learn: • How to let go of inhibitions • How to create your costume and work with it • How to captivate your audience • Bio-Energetic Eyes • How to put the tease in the strip! • How to increase your sexual energy and magnetic power This workshop is for everybody, any age, any skill level. Bring clothes that you feel comfortable in and extras that are just downright edgy. —— Annetta Luce began her professional career in New York City with the history makers of modern dance. She has an extensive education in the somatic therapies and an interdisciplinary perception of movement. Dance is a way back to our naturalness, our essence. She is a shifter, […]

The Bodywork Retreat with Emma Michelle Dixon

 … the body is the final frontier in modern life. We are a society that lives in our heads, immersed in talk therapy, talk shows, images and thoughts of how we should be, think, and feel. But when you really get in touch with your body, life shifts, even blossoms, and you can have transformation. We treat our bodies like vehicles that need fixing when they break down, or as objects to beautify—to put into shape, to adorn, to fuel with food. If we just take a deep breath, quite the mind, and go inward, our bodies have much to share, much to release, and paths towards greater self-love and pleasure. Our bodies have wisdom; our bodies store hurt; and our bodies can communicate with us how to live more fully and with more joy. Our bodies contain a direct route to our intuition—shaking us to attention with shivering fear, sending us a gut feeling, or tingling and warmth when life bodes well. We do not know how to listen enough, and well, so that our bodies can help heal our hurts, and open to pleasure. Many practitioners and many courses work on the level of the mind, but few focus deeply on the body.  This bodywork retreat works on four levels: To release any held emotion (from now or past events) that you just can’t access via talking Self acceptance – self-love. To accept your body and feel not just at peace in it, but to learn to experience deeper self-love To expand […]

Festival Performance Night – 23rd January 2016

Saturday, 23 January 8pm, Rex Centre, 58A Macleay Street, Potts Point NSW 2011 Program Lets Fall in Love – Hester Wilson & Minoux Hunter  Self-Suspension – Satomi Zpira I Sing The Body Electric – Joseph Kramer Please Daddy – Satomi Zpira & Lukas Zpira Bossa Seduction –  Mestre Jeronimo & Gabriela Soares Woman with a Knife – Paul Warren & Annetta Luce The Saturday performance night is one of the highlights of the festival Entry is included both in the Saturday one-day and all-inclusive festival tickets. It is also possible to buy a ticket for the performance alone for $30. Book Now

Three Circles Ritual by Joseph Kramer, Ph.D

Jeffrey walks the two blocks from his apartment to the Kiva for the morning ritual. It has been almost a year since he joined the village, a community of sixteen men committed to co-creating, containing, and circulatingan “erotic vibratory force field for healing, nourishment and consciousness.” Some community members live together; others, like Jeffrey, live by themselves. All live within a few blocks of the Big House and the Kiva. Presence at the daily Heart Fire Ritual is central to being a part of the Village. The community members call each other, sacred brother. Very quickly Jeffrey had discovered that being present at the Ritual took preparation. Within a month of his acceptance into the Village, his whole day revolved around the Ritual. He intensified his stretching and exercising, more aware each day of new levels of feeling. He stopped eating and drinking what wasn’t nourishing. He seldom watched television and stopped reading newspapers completely. He even started to enjoy his work at the Testing Center at the University. For the first time in his life, he felt he was developing a relationship–with himself, with his sacred brothers, and with the whole universe. And now, after almost a year of rituals, he feels and understands his life in terms of energy. Jeffrey, the erotic physicist, has learned how to generate energy, contain it, circulate it, focus it, and transmit it. Every day he celebrates the power and the mystery of eros, the evolutionary thrust. And most amazing to Jeffrey, he has discovered a sense of wonder and awe that often […]

Erotic Tying with Suspension – Katoomba, 13/12

Experience the power of bondage to create erotic intensity.  Sunday 13th December, 2015 12pm-6pm @The Inner Space, 96A Camp Street, at the rear of 96 Camp Street, Katoomba. Investment $125, (low income reduction available on request) Pre-registration is Required Many people think rope is just something you use to tie someone to a bedpost, but it can be much more. The process of tying and being tied can provide you with exquisite sensual and erotic experiences. In this one day intensive, you will discover: 1. The concepts of tension and connection, which when used correctly make the experience of bondage comparable to a dance or the playing of a musical instrument; 2. Different rope techniques from Japanese and European teachers which will allow you to explore the sensual, the aesthetic as well as the agressive aspects of erotic bondage; 3. A language to talk about your experiences with your partner, how at once to communicate your pleasure and your borders; 4. How to do a safe and effective self-suspension and partial suspension of another person. Learn how the rope itself can become a living part of your relaionship. How your body responds to tying and being tied whether it is done with a creative, sensual or more forceful intention; It is possible to come single or with a partner. It is not necessary to have a partner to learn and to enjoy the workshop.  Ropes are available, although it is also advised to bring your own, if you have. If you already have experience with rope bondage, the […]

Sex and Death Party – Sat. 31st October

We invite you to our second Sex and Death party. The idea of the party is to practice joy in the face of life’s uncertainty. At certain times of the night, ballots will be drawn out of a hat and those whose time is up will have to depart. This party is quieter and more experimental than other parties in Sydney. The atmosphere is more like ritual, whose purpose is to make space for deeper physical and erotic experiences. We wish to grow emotionally with our partner(s) and others. To do so, we create a space that inspires us to take risks we haven’t taken before.  Please note: This is a party that is welcoming of couples who wish to play only with one another. There is absolutely no expectation that you engage physically beyond the sphere in which you feel safe and comfortable. Extravagant outfits only. Saturday, 31st October, Arrival strictly before 7pm Cost $30 (If you are on a low income, please contact us)   NB. This is a couples only event. Register Interest Singles are generally refused admission, unless they are personally known to the hosts. Arrival between 6:30-7pm, after which the doors will be shut, to protect the atmosphere and so the participants can enter into deep play. The Sex and Death party is for every-body. We welcome all sexual orientations and genders. We strongly encourage playfulness, gracefulness and politeness. What to bring: BYO, play equipment, toys, rope, etc. Dress code: Fetish – Hyper Sexy – Deviant. Extravagant outfits and costumes. The […]

Erotic Tying – begins Tues. 3rd November

Experience the power of bondage to create erotic intensity.  Many people think rope is just something you use to tie someone to a bedpost, but it can be much more. The process of tying and being tied can provide you with exquisite erotic experiences. In this four week intensive, you will discover: 1. The concepts of tension and connection, which when used correctly make the experience of bondage comparable to a dance or the playing of a musical instrument; 2. Diffferent rope techniques from Japanese and European teachers which will allow you to explore the sensual, the aesthetic as well as the agressive aspects of erotic bondage; 3. A language to talk about your experiences with your partner, how at once to communicate your pleasure and your borders; 4. How to use a combination of blindfolds and canes with rope for those who are interested to play more with intense sensation and power. Learn how the rope itself can become a living part of your relationship. How your body responds to tying and being tied whether it is done with a creative, sensual or more forceful intention; It is possible to come single or with a partner. It is not necessary to have a partner to learn and to enjoy the workshop.  Ropes are available, although it is also advised to bring your own, if you have. If you already have experience with rope bondage, the course will provide you with an opportunity to practice in a supportive environment. If you are a beginner, this course […]

Integrating Sex and Life

by Dr. Emma Michelle The Festival of Really Good Sex is coming up and I’m slowly descending into that thoughtful space of workshop preparation. I am also part of the performance. There will be some erotic moments. As I contemplate my relationship to sexuality, my work, and the performance, my thoughts roam into the disheveled spaces of my identity—inextricable from my sexuality. Summer is so hectic. School holidays, Xmas, 2 kids with January birthdays, clients, other work. I take my kids to the beach several times a week, and I am right there in the water with them as they take more and more risks to dive into frothy waves and be carried to shore. Sibling rivalry often reaches a fever pitch, then thirty minutes later, almost every time, there is détente. Chaos and bonding, extreme frustration and delight. And a very happy (and rather impervious) dog. Clients, the best clients, who reveal so much to me about the beauty and struggle of sex and life and relationships. Healing is such a Google-friendly word. But what is healing, and how is it accomplished? Is it about bodywork, inner child work, vulnerability or a good spanking? Or is it simply a moment of pleasure that takes you further and deeper than ever before…? In the midst of it all, I steal private moments to write, for work, for publication, for a new online business. I don’t know sometimes if I’m Emma Michelle, Emma, Michelle, or in this disheveled space of identity, […]

Gala Vanting on Xplore12 Sydney

POSTED ON 07/04/2012 1 I’m on a little journey at the moment.  It’s not quite a holiday, but I’d really like one if your holiday house in such-and-such is a little untended.  A few days ago I began moseying up the coast from Melbourne to Sydney to attend Xplore in Sydney and to make some space in my brains.  I’ve finally landed in a reliably-welcoming queer house in Newtown, having parked my van in the backyard of a whole bunch of people I’ve never met, cooking pasta on a butane stove at 7:30am.  There’s a kitchen about three metres away, like a domestic one, in a house, but camping is romantic, yanno? Xplore plays with a lot of different approaches to sexuality – some really pragmatic, and others much more spiritually-based.  I think I might be a sucker for this sort of gathering, which I didn’t really know until I attended Barbara Carrellas‘ Urban Tantratraining last year.  I find that the spaces created by a whole bunch of curious souls coming together to seek personal and professional development around sexuality to be a pretty supportive environment for me.  I like to be offered a perspective and to make the choice as to whether to try to adapt it to myself.  What I hope to gain from this is a few technical skills to add to my BDSM toolbox, some good body-play, and to be provoked.  Thus far, that’s happening. One common criticism of these sorts of spaces, and one that I often hold myself, is […]

Performance Night

Saturday, 23 January 8pm, Rex Centre, (58A Macleay Street, Potts Point NSW 2011) Program * Self-Suspension – Satomi Zpira * Ecstatic Art – Mélanie Le Grand and Laurent Quintal * Woman with a Knife – Paul Warren & Annetta Luce *  Please Daddy – Satomi Zpira and Lukas Zpira Each performance will be introduced and followed by an erotic reading. Entry to the performance night is included both in the Saturday one-day and all-inclusive festival tickets. It is also possible to buy a ticket for the performance alone for $25. Book Now

Ecstatic Dance with Annetta Luce

Ecstatic Dance with Annetta Luce A Six Hour Shamanic Journey direct from Arizona Wed. & Thurs, January 28 & 29, 6-9pm As part of her Australian tour, Annetta Luce will be offering a course in ecstatic movement in Sydney for people with (or without) experience in 5 rhythms, contact improv, dance but who want to go further. Do old habits and repetitive movement patterns enter your state of ecstatic dance?  Is there a desire for your ecstatic dance to be more expressive? Freedom in one’s physical life is a practice of unraveling beliefs that inhibit our naturalness and mask our individuality. Crack the mold and re-sculpt! Ever wonder how one achieves feeling effortlessness? Experience a mind/body movement warm up that opens and primes the “body within” to ecstatic gateways. A shamanic approach can shift perceptions of the body allowing possible transformative states. No steps just an imaginative alignment with elements of nature.Mapping of the body’s systems, one feels and accesses the interconnectedness with the elements. Move from skin,bone feels earth, gravity is met. It is a shedding of our socialized bodies.Body goes where Spirit leads! Dive deep into “letting go”  regaining your own unique naturalness in dancing. Support your dancing with current innovative movement practices that support embodiment. Any level of physical fitness, no dance experience necessary, any body welcome. Wear comfortable loose fitting clothes. Location: Upstairs Studio, The Drill, 1c New Beach Road, Rushcutters Bay Cost: $99 (Early Bird until January 15) Book Now Annetta Luce is apprenticed to the  Sweet Medicine Sundance […]

My First Xplore Workshop

My first xplore workshop was in 2006. It was on Switching. It was a disaster. I don’t know if that’s exactly true. It was traumatic. Switching as in switching roles in erotic and kinky play. I did it with Rita, who I had broken up with. We had committed to do this workshop together, even though it was very difficult because emotionally there was so much confusion and suffering. We didn’t know how to run it or what to do. We agreed to make a script – scenes from our relationship. Even now when I think of it, I cringe. And then we decided to do these contact improvisation exercises, then it was followed by a talk. We do these things in order to open things up for ourselves and others, but sometimes things get so open that we can’t function anymore. The workshop kind of went okay, but it was very traumatic. It was good to do though, because it was a beginning. It led to many other workshops, which I later proposed and led by myself, and then later to creating whole festivals. There was at the time this great temptation to give up, because it was too hard, too senseless, but it made sense to stand up. Dr. Peter B. (December 2014)

Sex Philosophy

Really Bad Sex: Introduction to Sex Philosophy What happens when things don’t work? When they break down? How do you deal with rejection? Abandonment? Humiliation? Mourning and loss? How do you cope with having deeply hurt someone? Rarely acknowledged on the surface, these questions in truth are inseparable from those of really good sex. They are like its underside or shadow. There is no really good sex without the possibility of bad sex, and for this reason it is necessary in a certain way to explore it. In this workshop, we’ll give ourselves the license to explore ‘really bad sex’, whatever that might mean for you: mindless, selfish, unconscious, reckless, dangerous, traumatic, timid, fake, aggressive, abusive, weak, unhappy, mechanical, ‘dysfunctional’, boring, ‘inauthentic’. We will open this up this un-knowing space to see what insights and experiences we may find there. When it comes to sex, bad is not the simple opposite of good. Under the title ‘really good sex’, there is the risk of reproducing dogmatic thinking, i.e., of presenting only what one considers good sex to be, and then denigrating and excluding whatever one considers to be bad. Very often our culture presents things to us simply in terms of good or bad, positive or negative, but sex can be both and neither.   Dr. Peter B. Founder and Curator of the Sydney Festival of Really Good Sex. Since 2011 host of Schwelle Sydney. From 2011-2013 artistic director as well as producer of the Festival on the Art of Lust – Xplore Sydney. Peter is also member of the Philosophy […]

Loving Play with Rope

Come experience the power of rope to create and nurture intimacy. This workshop will not be about complicated knots or mastery. You will learn a few of the technical basics of Japanese bondage, and discover rope as a conscious touch and a loving encounter. Bondage need not be beautiful and perfect for it to feel alive and to give pleasure. For it to go deep, it is not necessary that the rope turn you on. When tying or being tied, you feel your pleasure/displeasure, fear, anger and all the nuances of the whole rich pallet of human feelings…and you take to heart what is there. And perhaps this has a healing aspect. All experience levels in bondage are welcome. Experience with attentive touch, breath work and tantra is advantageous. (This workshop concept has been adapted from the work of German-based shibari practitioner and performer, Matthias Grimme) It is possible to come single or with a partner. Ropes are available, although it is also advised to bring your own, if you have. Natalia B I am a rope enthusiast. I make no particular claims to ‘knowledge’ or expertise in the rope bondage field, except to say that I’ve done it. A lot. My partner and I play with and teach rope for pleasure, emotional intensity, physical challenge, sex, pain, intimacy and sometimes even something of/resembling ‘art’. I have a relatively short, yet intense history with Schwelle Sydney and Xplore Festival Sydney, where I have been engaged in a number of roles. I tend […]

Writing Contest

What is really good sex for you uniquely? Write to us about it and win some fantastic prizes Write no more than 250 words. It can be a story, a reflection, a poem, anything you like, your thoughts only! All entries will be read by a panel including Janet Hardy (co-author of The Ethical Slut), Cyndi Darnell (sex and relationship expert), Dr. Peter Banki from Schwelle Sydney and Dr. Michelle Dixon from Abandon Your Inhibitions. First prize is a play gift pack from Maxx Black; second prize is a copy of Radical Ecstasy by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton; third prize is one module from The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal by Cyndi Darnell; fourth prize is an $80 voucher from Gallery Serpentine in Enmore for anything from their Noir Handmade range of sensual clothing for club wear or play. We invite you to share your thoughts and dreams about sex. Submit entries to Closing Date has been extended to January 22, 2015. We’ll notify who the winners are on the final night of the festival, Tuesday,  27 January, 6pm.  Please Note: You do not have to come to the festival to enter the competition and win the prizes. Photo courtesy of Gallery Serpentine. 

An Evening with Janet Hardy

A chance to ask her anything you’ve always wondered (Janet says “no question too personal”), to hear excerpts from her memoir-in-progress Chasing the Sound, to listen to her thoughts about everything from “is monogamy natural?” to “what’s it like to spank a porn star?,” and to get signed copies of her eleven books in print. For nearly a quarter of a century, Janet Hardy – author or co-author of eleven books, including the classic The Ethical Slut – has been one of the world’s leading authors, educators and publishers on alternative sexualities including BDSM, polyamory, alternative gender/orientation expression and more. The Evening with Janet Hardy on Tuesday 27 January will conclude the festival. 


Our face is the most individual part of our body. It is a major identifier both for others and ourselves. By studying our face closely, other people can learn more about us than we may be comfortable with at that moment. Language and body expression are the two most relevant and specifically human forms of communication – both are central to our face. Sight, Hearing, Taste, Smell – important gates to interacting with the world around us – are focused in our face. No wonder our face is maybe the most intimate part of our body. But while more obvious intimate parts like our genitals get a lot of attention during sexual acts, it is not as common for our faces to be on the receiving end of erotic considerations. Still – contact with our face in general and our hair, cheeks, eyes, ears, mouth and neck in particular, is usually reserved to our closest confidants or even restricted further. In this workshop we will take another road: By consciously breaking though our own restrictions and allowing the crossing of intimacy of a face per se, we will experience closeness and trust. We will study and explore faces, deliberately unemotional and cold, as well as deliberately sensually and kind. During this process of studying, unavoidably our faces WILL communicate with each other and many short scenarios can arise through that. In those I may convey trust and kindness and may be met with resistance or rudeness. How vulnerable does it […]

Interrogation Play

More Than Getting Answers When we play with interrogation, it can of course be all about getting the desired information. But then again, if we don’t go directly for “the secret”, who knows what other interesting things we might discover instead? If you think about it, interrogation play between consenting play partners doesn’t have to be about getting any particular answers at all. It is basically a setting that allows us to experiment and experience – most of all power vs. powerlessness. Wanting to discover the secret is an idea that gives shape to the setting, not a goal we actually have to reach. So how do we create an interrogation scenario? We will experiment with various settings. What topics can we talk about? What types of questions are best suited to making someone feel uneasy? We’ll introduce techniques to build up pressure or to confuse. We will also find out about the physical side of an interrogation scenario: body language, body positions, and physical contact. Please bring a bag with a few personal items to this workshop (for instance a handbag).   Frank T. Khani studied philosophy, German philology and economics; for his Master’s degree he wrote his thesis on “Prejudices”. Frank has been practicing various martial arts since 1984 (incl. karate, jiu-jitsu and WingTsun since 1991). He is a self-defence teacher and runs his own martial arts school. His experience in the area of martial arts and self-defense and his passion for playful fighting came together in 2005. Since […]

Notes on Being Bad and Transgression

Do I live off and promote sexual exploration because I believe it does good for people? Or rather because I am attracted incorrigibly to the thrill and danger of the forbidden? As an antidote to the stigma, guilt and shame so often linked to sexuality, most people in the field promote sexuality by associating it with goodness, self-development, positivity, health, therapy, healing, etc. Something crucial, however, is lost is this. If sex is truly an event and not mechanical routine, it cannot not break rules (implicit or explicit). It feeds off risk, the thirst for the unknown. Fear, insecurity and frustration cannot – and probably should not – ever be simply avoided. On the contrary, it is by virtue of the preparedness to feel negative emotions that sex may happen. Sex is never without negativity. If you purge sex of all its unsavoury characteristics, then it’s not sex anymore. Consequently, I do not call myself ‘sex positive’. In our culture, one sells something by claiming that it is good, that it will have positive effects. Could you ever imagine selling something without suggesting that it’s good? Perhaps only illegal drugs. Bataille suggests that eroticism is a force of instability, a zone of taboos and transgressions. Eroticism, for him, is related more to evil than to good, because it is related to expenditure without reserve, beyond any usefulness or purpose, which is to say, beyond any limit. So it is more on the side of things breaking down and being destroyed […]

Refreshed in both body and spirit

I left last night with my mind clear. Refreshed in both body and spirit. Peter is right that connection with Rope, gentle or violent can be healing. After a torrid stressful work day it was what I needed. Last nights Tantric Shibari solidified for me what Rope and Bondage do for the whole of me, body, heart, mind and spirit. How through the Rope I can fall into a space where I learn more about myself and more about my partner. Schwelle, Peter and N grant a space where this can happen. I am grateful. It was a delight to have so many new faces. I enjoyed watching and learning from the newness and wealth of experience others bring to the space. Peter and N demonstrated a way to express sex and humiliation through Rope by a ‘hog tie’. The spontaneous shout from Peter, and N’s response, during the demonstration awakened a group response of laughter and connection to what we were watching. The sound had drawn us closer to the experience. I love N’s word ‘exposed’ as an alternative to ‘obscene’ to describe tieing in this way. Both describe the vast spectrum of what Rope and Sex can gift me. We all then played with Rope. Jake was quick to dominate me and his use of a fingernail, cane and hair tie released me. Healed me. I am grateful that Schwelle encourages us bottoms to tie and that Jake gifted his submission, albeit with cheekiness and delight in pushing […]

Linking the Senses to the Imagination

Tonight we practiced linking the senses to the imagination, first alone and then with a partner. With the spacing of touch one is able to create a story for oneself and also for the other, and in so dong sustain and deepen interest. All good sexual play, in my view, should have this capacity of igniting the imagination through touch and/or the refusal of touch. The story that is going on for one person in the interaction may not be the same as the story that is going on for the other. But that’s okay. In fact, it teaches something deep about human relations, i.e., the possibility of non-relation in the most intimate relation. I felt it was a successful evening, even though there were only four people. We discussed being able to hear in the way someone talks if their mind is connected to their body–if when they speak they still feel or listen to their body and their feelings. Avril said powerfully that the reason she was attracted to the “Really Good Sex” workshop was because it offers do body/mind work with sexuality And, of course, there aren’t many possibilities to do this in our culture. If I were to get an academic job, then I might have to give up teaching and holding the space for this body/mind work. And that would be a shame, because it is so necessary. When someone speaks, can you hear if what they are saying is in touch or not with […]

What did I learn from Joseph Kramer?

Joseph is a kind and intelligent man with a great deal to teach. He gave two classes at Schwelle Sydney on 26 & 27th August, 2013. What did I learn from him? 1. To focus your attention during sex. 2. That sex can practiced in the yogic sense. 3. That masturbation can be undertaken in very different positions. 4. There is a high you may get from watching porn that you don’t get from any other sexual activity, because with porn you may select the very thing that most turns you on. Porn permits you to be extremely specific. Kramer is interested in how to watch porn, how to use it. He puts his attention onto the viewer rather than onto the content, which is where attention is most often situated. He argues that the energy that may be generated from watching porn may be used to enliven the whole body. The erotic energy can be circulated like a dance. So he suggests, for example, standing while watching porn. He also suggests regularly shifting one’s attention from viewing the screen to turning around and focusing on the sensations in the body, moving the erotic sensations through the body by using movement. He also encourages the use of a , which is a kind of sheath, where a hard cock may be inserted. If the fleshlight is anchored, it is possible for a man to produce sensations in the cock without using his hands. He can move, dance with his cock […]

Really Good Jealousy

Tonight we played with pegs, putting them on our skin and stretching our bodies. And afterwards had a long discussion about jealousy. It was a lovely evening: people were comfortable and open to share things about themselves and I was too. I began by presenting Felix Ruckert’s idea that most, if not all, BDSM practices can be understood spatially as an intersection of compression and expansion. Rope bondage, nipple clamps, cock rings, cock bondage, confinement play, breath play/breath reduction can all be understood as physical forms of compression. Impact play (spanking, caning, flogging), fire play, wax play, can be understood as physical forms of expansion. The terms are, however, not oppositional: physical compression can lead to physical expansion as its consequence: for example, when the chest expands when the breath is restricted. Even at a psychological level, we can speak of compression and expansion. Sexual exploration is nothing but a kind of expansion, a growing bigger, by taking risks, by doing things you haven’t done before. One seeks to expand, to become bigger through these experiences of facing oneself, discovering new things, breaking taboos, etc. Even games where we make ourselves or others smaller, such as humiliation play or age play, where there is psychological regression: I become smaller, but in so doing, I reconnect with my imagination, my unconscious, and thus in a certain way may also become bigger. Even gender play can function in this fashion. I don’t say this concept is the truth of BDSM, but it […]

Really Good Dirty Talk

Real Sex at Schwelle Sydney last night was unexpected in its confrontation and learnings though I am not sure why. I am still processing. Peter gave the group four choices and the group, after a brief discussion, seemed to naturally flow to a decision of what would take place. The meditative exercise gave me an opportunity to become present into my body and yet for me I was still ungrounded. It was an opportunity to become present in the space. Peter’s voice helped me find the space, it was my own inner voices that made me find it difficult. I ignored the feeling of not being present and ignored my body just telling me to rest in the corner.  The massage exercise was a continuation, for me it was moving to feel where the other person was, to ground and focus. Still it was difficult. My day was heavy in my mind and I was feeling very small, anxious and yet I was mindful of an inner voice that argued for me to participate and learn. I found the writing exercise easier when I turned away from facing everyone. Letting go of my inhibitions included letting go of an assumption that just because I vocalise in role play, just because my current sexual experiences are about immersing in fantasy that expresses real self, deepest desires, often vocally, it doesn’t mean there isn’t still a voice that never gets heard. That there is a  voice that isn’t given space. There is always […]

Really Good Sex, First Session

How to put this into words? I came prepared with one idea or thought, as well as the reading of a book. The one idea was that a movement or body practice is an essential ingredient for really good sex. If I have to choose between a partner who is kinky and a partner who is in his/her body, I would choose the partner who is in their body. Because at a deeper level body awareness is felt when you are with someone…and that holds my interest more deeply, more enduringly than any particular kink or BDSM activity. If you have a body practice and body awareness, it will speak out in the way any sexual interaction takes place. If your partner has that awareness, it will make being with them physically more interesting…whatever you are doing. For this reason, when I curate the Xplore festival, I always make sure that there are many workshops focused on body awareness and research, such as yoga, breathwork, dance and sound intimacy. I felt that people got what I was saying. I didn’t fail to mention that if you have a partner who both has a body practice and is also kinky and willing to explore, that’s even better… Following this idea, we began with an exercise that was focused on lying down and coming into the body, breathing, relaxing and exploring the body’s potential for pleasure in movement. Too often we experience the body as a source of pain and discomfort. But […]

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